ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize