just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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