MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
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i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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