this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
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Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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