is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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