If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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