Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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