Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
