Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
