Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
