Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
