She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
