i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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