I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize