Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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