No awkward lesbian experiences without me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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