Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
