It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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