mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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