a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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