Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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