Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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