Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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