You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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