How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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