Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
