she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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