The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wakey wakey hands off snakey
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
