if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
