I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let's get the cat blown out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize