Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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