Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
