You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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