Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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