Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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