therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
