hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?