Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
