shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm both gender and math confused
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
