i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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