just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
