just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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