Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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