Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just found puke in my bra..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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