I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
