I am in a vortex of obligation.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
