you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
