He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
