pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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