she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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