Do vagina's smell?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
