You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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