Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
