i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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