so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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