wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize