i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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