Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
