Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
