I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
