Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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