He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
